scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
