whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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