So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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