I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
