Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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