I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
