someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
