So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
