Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
