she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
