Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
