Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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