carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
