apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
