We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
