He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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