To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
