When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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