I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
