just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My balls are so social today.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
