the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
