break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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