Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
