today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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