were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
