I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
