and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
