Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
