No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize