I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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