i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i love accidental penises.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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