the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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