wat bout pragnant strippers??
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
