I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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