yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
