So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
