how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
