I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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