Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
