you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
