States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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