why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
