Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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