Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
