Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
