I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize