You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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