No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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