His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
