he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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