just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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