But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize