bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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