i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
