3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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