K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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