it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
