he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
